go away psycho boy

Wednesday , 11, March 2015 Comments Off on go away psycho boy

lil bitch who hit my site 31 times in less than an hour last night
you are already banned from this manna so get off my cache

I don’t lean to the left or the right. I’m dead center and I think for myself. If this had been a riot, I could understand all the arrests. But it wasn’t. I understand they have to scout for terrorists. I get that. But what the fuck about our right to peaceful assembly? Our civil liberties are dying and most people aren’t even gracious enough to wave good bye.

Don’t agree with me? Guess who doesn’t give a fuck.

yeah you know how it ends.

It just sucks that it always does end.

The mania left Sat. night. I hate when it comes and I’m agitated as hell, wearing my nerves on the outside of my skin and everything is too loud or too bright or too something and my own thoughts annoy me. But sometimes when that part settles down, it’s a soft ride through a technicolor world of bliss where nothing is ever enough and everything is gonna be just all right.

At least I didn’t sink through to the core of the earth this time when I came down. I think if I were gonna do that I would have already.

I had nothing to say really when I sat down to write this and now I’ve said it.

Why Birds Suck

Sunday , 22, February 2015 Comments Off on Why Birds Suck

Cause they can just pick up at any moment and fly away. These were flying over our heads this weekend down at the shore. So I snappy snappied the pic of them. I’m glad they didn’t shit on us. My point is, I wanna be a bird so I can just flap flap and fly away from stupid people. Birds are cool, but they suck.

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby, and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met
I’m the kindest soul with whom you’ve connected
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone
Who is as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else not my own partaking
My passive aggressiveness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as closed down as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist persists and speaks louder than I know
What I resist you love no matter how low or high I go

I’m the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I am the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I remember when all of this blog shit was fun. Now it’s just shit. People all hyped out about a link or not a link. Whatever. Who gives a fuck? I used to. I admit it. But shit, not for a long time have I cared about things like that. It does no good cause it’s all temporary anyways. Delete. Template change. Reorganize.

Cliques. This aint gradeschool or a kiddy pool or do you like me yes or no. But you make it that way and you like it that way and you go to lengths to keep it that way cause without drama you shrivel. It’s all you have. Fuck drama.

For fucks sake.

If you think I’m talking about you directly I’m more than likely not. Drop the ego. Watch it fall. Let it die a decent death not one played out over the net.

Everybody’s a fucker. In some way. Some how.

i have a test tomorrow that i can’t study for cause the phone keeps ringing every 5 minutes and i think to myself,

yeah it’s annoying that people are calling but,

one day those people won’t be there anymore and i’ll really really wish i could hear their voices so i just answer and listen so i will never forget the sound.

i think more than being misunderstood,

i’m just wandering day by day in a mass of intense psychological isolation.

but then i remember it’s just a panic attack or some fuckered up chemical misfire and all will be sunny skies again when it passes.

i used to know a girl who was oblivious to the world.

she would say ‘some say the grass is greener on the other side, i say grass is grass.’

it was the only thing she ever said that made any sense.

pretty pills taste good but…

Tuesday , 22, April 2014 Comments Off on pretty pills taste good but…

i was so damn frustrated for so long, but i didn’t have any health insurance so i couldn’t go to a doctor to find out what was wrong.

hello, america.

so finally along came the lab and the insurance and it was discovered a few months back that my thyroid was so bored it was knitting little sweaters for my genitalia since it was putting them on ice for a while.

so i had it checked again and the doc called last week n said he is sending me to a specialist to have my thyroid scanned cause now it has began stabbing itself with the knitting needles and is slowly dying.

he thinks in a year or so it will stop functioning completely.

not good.

friday, however, i was actually glad for once in my life that i have a bipolar brain, cause a couple weeks ago it decided the time was ripe for a lil mania, which doesn’t contrary to popular belief mean euphoria, it can also manifest as just fucking extreme irritation, but luckily this time i got the horniness that sometimes accompanies it.

by friday i was a seething panty soaking kind of  horny that i used to be so daily accustomed to, but for so long has instead made me want to wretch at the thought of it.

i can write this with no shame because i’m honest and i think that the mentality that says dudes can write about but if a woman does she’s a slut cyber fuck writer is more obscene than just enjoying your own

so because this was actually a major event in my life i masturbated friday morning and had 3 of the most satisfying orgasms i’ve had in…..hell, i dunno how long.

not just any orgasms, those kind that turn your mind inside out and cause your whole body to convulse like you’re going all grand mal or some shit.

i didn’t feel the usual emptiness i feel after masturbation either. that’s one reason i’m not such a big fan of it is that in the end, you’re still alone, ya know?

this time i actually felt better afterwards.

i thought surely i had broken something.

how could this be?

but it didn’t stop there.

as i drove my route for work picking up specimens and what not, i could barely keep my mind on driving for having some of the most deep erotic fantasies i’ve had in years.

i sure as hell couldn’t keep my mind on work once i got back to the lab and found myself just zoning out, immersed in a fantasy that didn’t just get the nether regions warm, but flushed my whole body.

but i couldn’t do a damn thing about it cause i was in a lab surrounded by specimens and some of the most fuck wadded annoying co workers i’ve ever had the unpleasure of working with.

good times, good times.

off topic, but we had a sub instructor yesterday who could not dislodge her foot from her mouth for more than a few minutes at a time.

at one point while beginning a chapter about tourniquets and bleeding she said ‘now we are going to begin hemorrhaging’

somebody said they didn’t really want to begin hemorrhaging.


ok so she also said, cause we were going to practice the correct way to use restraints on difficult patients, that she had some students that needed to retake a test so if we wanted to the rest of us could just go over to the lab and practice tying each other to the bed, using either the leather or the fabric restraints, it mattered not to her.

she couldn’t figure out why everyone was laughing at her

ok, anyway…..so i had too much caffeine yesterday and i shouldn’t even be drinking it period when i’m manic, i should just stick with water, but my mood turned and my nerves jumped to the outside of my skin and i quasi-crashed yesterday afternoon.

fucking nature

Saturday , 4, January 2014 Comments Off on fucking nature

cause this loon like bird thing was out there and I’ve been wanting for months to get close enough to this thing to get a good pic of it. So I went stalking it around the lake and I was careful not to step in any dog shit, but I wasn’t aware that there may be a damn good reason that people don’t go tramping around this lake.

I never see anyone out there even though it is on our apartment complex property, but most of our neighbors are dregs, so I just figured they were too fucking lazy to walk. While they very well may be, that’s actually not the reason no one walks there.

It could have something to do, however, with the FUCKING FIRE ANTS THAT ATTACKED MY LEFT FOOT!!!!

I took a look down to see what might be causing the burning pain and found that not only had I walked right through a whole fucking mound of em, but I was surrounded by other mounds and so was the entire lake.

I did the only thing I could do: scream “Jeremy!!!!!!!!!!” while trying to beat them off of me and run at the same time as I tried to avoid other mounds of ants and make it to the pavement where I nearly fell and almost dropped my new camera while still trying to get the lil fuckers out of my sandle and still screaming

He thought I was wiping dog poo off my shoe so he didn’t come running, but when he did get there he brought a friend:

He’s a stray we see all the time and he brought his friend the dead frog that he was chewing on and wallowing on.

Here’s the only half way decent pic I got of that damn fucking bird I was chasing:

So then we kept walking but Jer had a headache by that time and my foot was itching and hurting from all the fucking ant bites and plus I had to pee real bad so we just came back upstairs.



splattering my views all over the place

Thursday , 21, February 2013 Comments Off on splattering my views all over the place

I don’t give a flying donkey nut if you agree with the war or not. No, really, I don’t. You probably couldn’t even measure how little I care, if such things were measurable. But some just plain good people are doing things that are just fucking awesome. You rock, Bozzi. But you know that.

I think everybody else should stop sitting around on the couch picking the sores on their collective asses and worrying about who lied and what the fuck about a ribbon or a medal or no they didn’t get one but he did but he threw it away, no he threw away someone else’s ribbon or medal, whothefuckevencaresaboutthedamnribbonormedal it doesn’t do anybody any fucking good now, just don’t worry about the shit and go do something good.

Politicians aren’t gonna solve anything anyway. It’s the people or nothing at all.

*I’d also like to thank Gaiagal for this link to censored news stories. Might wanna check that one out if you think we’re not being told the whole truth. Mainly because we aren’t. Ever. And it’s our own responsibility to keep ourselves informed. You can’t rely on the media to do it for ya, nope, cause you’ll just be spoon fed moonbeams n such while they show you a finger pointing over there somewhere while the real shit is really right in front of you. Look closely.

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